butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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