he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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