Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
