so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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