Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
