I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
