with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
