too bad you live with your parents still
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
