let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
