lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize