physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
