Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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