i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
