so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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