I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
