well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
