Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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