Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
