last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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