Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
