I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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