You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
