so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize