U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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