Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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