please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
40s are totally the cure
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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