Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You took a bar mat shot.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
