awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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