How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize