smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
