i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
