I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
