He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
