i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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