mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
