so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
