): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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