We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
