my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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