there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
