Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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