so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
