It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
ttyl tear gas
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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