Whod you bang
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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