So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
