Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
