I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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