i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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