like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
