my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
