I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
