pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
