I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
