This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
