how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize