matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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