Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize