her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
