i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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