I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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