well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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