Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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