she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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