i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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