He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
