areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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