Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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