After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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