the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She said her name was "party"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
