yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
