Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
