didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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